


Still Not Sure

by BlackKyber



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren Fluff, Bottom Kylo Ren, Boys Kissing, Confusion, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Gay Male Character, I Ship It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Romantic Fluff, Short & Sweet, Star Wars - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 02:25:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16254773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackKyber/pseuds/BlackKyber
Summary: General Hux has been in a relationship with his former enemy, Kylo Ren, for nearly six months. While Hux is happy with the physical nature of their union, he is still confused as to whether or not what they have extends beyond that ... and whether or not he WANTS it to.





	Still Not Sure

“Do you have everything?”

Kylo looked around himself, patting himself down.

“I think so. Wait, where’s my cowl?”

Hux leaned over the side of the bed and rooted around the messy pile of clothes, his clothes, still on the floor. Finally he procured the item in question and sat back up, holding it out to Ren.

“Here. You’ve got your lightsaber?”

Kylo patted it on his belt. “Right here. Oh, that reminds me: Snoke is sending me and my Knights out on a training retreat excursion today. We likely won’t return for several days.”

Hux nodded. “Alright. I’ll see you when you’re back, then. Be safe.”

Kylo smiled, nodded, and then left without another word.

When he was gone, Hux laid back down and stared at his ceiling, trying to ignore the melancholy that flooded his chest, at Ren’s departure.

Melancholy, mixed with relief.

Hux liked spending time with the tall, dark-haired man that had just left.But, despite the fact that they had been seeing each other, in this capacity, for nearly half a year, Hux wasn’t fully sure if he could trust Ren, yet. True, the man was nice enough, even charming, when they were alone; but Kylo Ren, was a master manipulator. In the past he had never been shy about using his looks, his charisma, or his abilities to feel the emotions of others, in order to get what he wanted.

And Hux, still wasn’t completely sure, that Ren didn’t simply want something from him. Yet at the same time, he couldn’t think of a single thing he had, that Ren would be trying to take. Ren had an essentially unlimited supply of credits, and resources. And the man had the Force; anything he wanted, he could simply reach out and take it. And he wouldn’t need to go through the pretense of forming a romantic relationship with somebody in order to procure whatever things he desired.

Still, Hux couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Ren was simply taking pleasure in what could be a game, between them. Their working relationship in the past had been full of such spite, anger and contention ... was this Ren’s way of mentally tooling with Hux? To make the redhead believe that he had real feelings for him, only to mock him for it once he had had his fill of fooling him? 

But ... to Hux, it didn’t feel like a trick. The intimate moments, the kissing, the talking ... it all felt so real, so genuine.

So sweet.

But perhaps this was simply because Hux WANTED it to be real, and was therefore falsely convincing himself of Ren’s sincerity, in order to protect himself from the truth. Hux had been lonely and depressed for quite some time, and Kylo Ren’s attentions had helped those things to slowly disappear from Hux’s world.

And the entirely new, somewhat exciting concept of having a life in the bedroom ... THAT was wonderful, as well.

It was extremely difficult, though, to try and get anything they had going last longer than an hour. Kylo’s body responded to Hux’s touches at an impossibly fast, impossibly strong rate. The man could be reduced to jelly after something as simple as a few kisses on the neck. And the sex itself? Hux was almost always afraid, that he was dangerously overloading Kylo’s body.

Was there such a thing, as too much pleasure?

Was it possible, for something to feel so good that it actually causes physical pain?

That’s what appeared to happen, whenever he made love to Ren. The latter shook, he cried, he convulsed and jerked and moaned and whimpered and made other noises so alarmingly loud that Hux had made an appointment with the ship’s maintenance to upgrade the soundproofing of his chambers. Hux found himself constantly stopping, asking Kylo repeatedly if he was okay. Kylo would always insist that he was, and urge Hux onward.

It was flattering, of course; every man likes to believe that his skills in the bedroom are beyond compare. But what if this was another way that Kylo was deceiving him? 

And even if he WASN’T just pretending, Hux wasn’t convinced that Ren’s responses had much to do with him, at all.

Hux had only had a few lovers before Ren, and none of them had reacted this way to Hux. He thought about it some, and came to the timid conclusion that Kylo responded so strongly to Hux not necessarily because the latter was exceptionally talented, but because Kylo had never had _any_ sort of physical attentions before, and, being a force-user, he felt and experienced sensation on a much deeper level than the average individual.

He also felt that Kylo was attracted to being with Hux because the redhead was able to take charge, in a way. Kylo was somebody who faced innumerable pressures, from the Supreme Leader, from himself, and from trying to live up to his daunting Skywalker lineage. With Hux, he was finally able to let go of some of that, and let somebody else be responsible and make decisions for a while.

And it wasn’t as though Hux could go and sleep with somebody else, to compare and test out his theories.

Or _could_ he?

He wasn’t entirely sure WHAT the situation was between him and Kylo. Were they actually together? Were they exclusive with one another, a ... a couple? Or were they just sleeping with one another, with an occasional dinner plus a variety of non-sexual physical gestures thrown in, for variety’s sake?

They had never really spoken about it before. Hux wanted to ask, but he didn’t know how to phrase the question, without sounding possessive. Besides, if Kylo had wanted them to be more than bedmates, he surely would have said something to that effect, wouldn’t he? The man wasn’t exactly shy about using his words.

Ah, well,, he thought to himself, more than once, What we have now is nice. Why push for something more? Why complicate things?

*** *** ***  
Hux sat at his desk, going over the blueprints for a hospital being built on Kamar, the newest planet to join The First Order.

Spearheading tasks such as this one seemed somewhat pointless to him, but were a necessary part of his job. So he tackled it the same way he did anything else; patience, determination, and an enviable level-headed clearness.

All of the property that Snoke had control of, as well as the people, received things like this hospital. In some cases, more, bordering almost on the extravagant. The message being sent, clearly, was "we take care of our people."

So everything was carefully planned and organized, for the Systems that gave the First Order its unwavering allegiance. Hospitals, schools, housing, entertainment, and much more.

Of course, there was a less noble flip side to this.

In return for these acts of graciousness, the planets involved gave 100% of their power to Snoke. His hand was in everything, and his word was the final say on all subjects, from government seats to architecture to what was taught in the schools. And young men were indoctrinated from early youth about the importance, the "prestige", of joining the First Order's military ranks at the allotted 16 years of age.

And this was nothing to say of the obscene amount of wealth, that comes from keeping your finger on the pulse of so many entrepreneurial ventures.

Other planets, other systems, observed this, of course. They saw how well cared for the inhabitants of these places were, how well fed, clothed, sheltered, and educated. And they wanted the same type of comfort for their own families. So they would put pressure on their government officials, and slowly, more and more planets would fall into First Order control.

And Snoke would make it hard, extremely hard, on Systems or planets that did not want to fall into line. Taxes became higher, stricter trading embargoes would be instituted; there was even rumors that the First Order engineers had developed a machine that could control the weather on any given planet, purposely causing scorching winds or flooding rains to ruin and sabotage the agricultural survival of these 'enemies'.

But then, like magic, once a planets officials pledged themselves to Snoke, every problem seemed to miraculously disappear. Small oppositions to The First Order were very vocal, naturally, about how these planets were giving away their freedom, giving up the ability to make their own choices, for the sake of a few luxuries. And some of the more radicalized thinking individuals would join them, fighting against what they considered oppression by Snoke and his regime.

The ability to say that you're free, however, is cold comfort when you have a starving family, or a sick child; or, if you simply want more from life than to be a farmer or a laborer like your parents before you.

And the cycle went on and on.

Some planets, they had to take by force, but even then, the stories about the acquisition were spun in such a way that the First Order came out looking like heroes. This place slaughtered children, that place endorsed higher taxes for trading goods among worlds; there was no end to the stories or slander that Snoke's aides couldn't come up with, or successfully make others believe.

And Hux could see no end to this.

And for the most part, he was fine with this. He was a man of power, of (modest) wealth and respect. Without Snoke, without his position in this operation, he would still be the scrawny, timid redhead suffocating under the harsh rule of his father.

Of course, Hux frequently acknowledged to himself that none of that really mattered, in the slightest, if one didn't have someone to come home to at night.

Someone to talk, to share, to laugh and cry and argue and dream with.

Someone that he'd die for.

Someone that he wanted to _live_ for.

Someone ... like Kylo Ren.

Hux sat there at his desk, looking down at his papers but not really seeing them, and thinking of Kylo, who was still away. He knew that he needed to have a serious talk with him when he came back, to really sit down and discuss where this ... situation? relationship? affair? between them was going.

He knew he needed to ... but he had no idea where to begin.

*** *** ***  
It was about four days later, early evening, and Hux was on his way back to his quarters. He was tired, and was mentally running through the items in his conservator, thinking of different things to make for supper.

He reached his door, punched in the security code, stepped inside ... and wondered if he was in the wrong quarters, somehow.

When he had left earlier this morning, he had been in such a rush that he had left things much messier than he’d have liked. But standing here, it was clear that everything had been meticulously scrubbed, waxed, polished, and straightened.

The air around him was a mouth-watering mix of honeysuckle and lavender, and Hux saw that this was because there were dozens of the fragrantly-scented candles placed along the shelves and tables.

Cautiously walking further into the room, Hux’s eyes widened when he saw his kitchen table. In the center sat a vase filled to bursting with dala-blooms, Hux’s favorite flower in the galaxy. In front of the vase, on an ornate dish, was a small, layered cake. Hux approached it, stuck out his finger, and swiped a tiny bit of the icing. Ginger chocolate; also his favorite.

He was so enraptured with seeing the things in front of him, that he hadn’t been aware the someone had been walking softly and swiftly up behind him, until a hand descended on his shoulder.

He jumped, and reflectively spun around while pulling out his blaster, aiming it at the intruder.

“Relax! It’s just me!”

“Kylo?”, Hux asked, lowering his weapon. “What are you doing here?”

“I know, I know, I should have asked before coming over. But I wanted to surprise you.”

Hux put his blaster back on his belt, and took another slow look around himself. Kylo did all of this?

“This IS a surprise; I’m just not certain what it’s for.”

Kylo shook his head and sat down on a chair. 

“I figured you wouldn’t remember. Today is your birthday, Armitage. Congratulations, you made it to 35. In our line of work, that’s no small feat.”

Hux quickly pulled out his DataPad, to see the date.

Huh.

It actually WAS his birthday.  
But ...

“How did you know that?”

“I looked it up in the records archives, a few weeks ago. So, I thought I’d try and do something for you. I know this isn’t much, but, I couldn’t just let this day pass by without doing something.”

Hux sat down as well, feeling confused and overwhelmed.

“But why?”

Kylo shrugged. “You told me once, a while ago, that your father didn’t allow the celebration of birthdays when you were growing up. Neither did my Uncle, when I was doing my Jedi training. I always hated that. People deserve at least one day a year when they’re made to feel special.”

Here he paused, and was Hux imagining it, or was Kylo blushing? If he was, Maker, it made his face look lovely.

“You know, you ... Hux, I want you to know, that you make ME feel special, every day. And I’m grateful, that you’re mine.”

Hux was almost completely flabbergasted, by Kylo’s words. He had never said anything like that to him before, or been quite as open with what he was thinking.

And he said that Hux made HIM feel special?  
Really?

“Kylo ... this is ... this is the nicest, the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

He leaned over and hugged him; a gesture that both were unfamiliar with, but quickly became acclimated to.

And then, it slipped out.

Right as Hux was letting him go, the words “I love you” slipped past his lips. He hadn’t meant to say that, he hadn’t even been aware that that was something he’d wanted to say. But now that they were out, now that his true feelings were floating there for the world to see, he found himself terrified, at what Kylo’s reaction might ...

“I love you, too,” Kylo responded, with a smile. He leaned back towards Hux and kissed him, gently. “Now can you please hurry up and cut that cake? I’m starving.”

Hux laughed, and with his laughter, came a magnificent sense of relief. The universe had fallen into place for him: he and Ren, were definitely together.

So he picked up the knife and did as his boyfriend asked, cutting them each a slice of sugary perfection.


End file.
